I am off to the big scary MRI machine today for my hands.
They are not sure if my kidneys can handle the dyes but I suppose we are going to roll the dice on that one.
Mostly this morning I feel pissed. I talked with Kathleen yesterday about anger and she had a really profound take on the subject. God can handle my anger. He loves me when I am adoring and when I am royally pissed off.... and to be honest about my feelings.
Dear God,
I am not discounting your creation
and your love that even sent your son to die for me,
I am however very angry at you because my body died and forgot to tell me.
your whiny kid,
-Juicey
Your body is failing you for sure, but it's not dead. I know this because I am not in the fetal position figuring out who's going to call and talk to me about HGY and HGW. I love you beyond what I can describe. You lift me up in my darkest moments and keep me sane. I hope that I do the same. I know that I am selfish sometimes and *dink dink* too much. Sorry lovey! Thanks for being all dark and twisty with me.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Your Person
still in the cosmo...I would have felt the vacumn of your smile being gone. It IS extremely OKAY if your are pissed off about what has been happening to your physique. It is NOT okay that this has happened to you. Jesus said that by His stripes we are healed.
ReplyDeleteI am still figuring out how we are healed and still painfully sick...I just know that He will get you through.