My Main Blog

For those of you that are interested -
My main blog is www.beneathbelief.tumblr.com

Go forth and tumblr away.

I've been blogging faithfully on my tumblr for about a year now... but it makes me sad that my Riah doesn't have one. I thought perhaps I would switch back to my LJ... but frankly - I hate the format.
Even this doesn't really hold a candle to the ease of tumblr.

I am going to start an experiment and just start cross posting... I am not sure how it will work - but at least I can stay connected.

Writing is good for the soul - an alternative to the therapy sessions I can't afford right now.

it's been awhile

I haven't posted because I haven't had anything nice to say.
Today was actually a good day. Felt strange to have one of those, but it was truly a gift from Jesus to me.

I still struggled... D still struggled...
but I got a nap... and drumroll please.... a job working part time hours with full time benefits baking and cake decorating at Safeway, 10 minutes from home.
I am sitting here listening to D, trying to go to sleep.
I have a coctail next to the keyboard, and am going to bed shortly.

Life is far from perfect. However, I am finally starting to feel like we are going to make it, not just surviving, but that we might actually thrive.

I am praying that this brief moment of optimism extends to tomorrow.
until then,



by the way,

The Betty Crocker, Betty Page, Betty Boop, Betty Craziness is a bunch of Crap.
I would much rather learn to be myself. Haven't been her in a while. It would be nice to spend some time with her.

not ready to blog about stuff yet...
However, God's gift to me in all of this is my family.

it is super late and I am watching instructional videos on youtube....
instructional videos on using a knitting loom... the dude is super flaming and is talking about how fast it goes that he has time to drink wine and cook broccoli without salt...

I must say, it is a bit of an addiction.

today

I've decided the concept of learning to be betty is a load of crap.
I have a hard enough time learning to be me.

I am on the verge of big changes... scary but long in the making.
I still don't know what I am going to be when I grow up, but I know what I am doing now is not cutting it.

I am grateful for my family these last couple of months.
They are what propels me through.
I wish I could be more present in my niece's lives, but there just isn't enough of me to go around.

On a lighter note, today is my little man's 3rd birthday.
He is a bit on the grumpy side, but hopefully after his nap he will clear up :D

I made him mickey mouse pancakes and we stayed in jammies until noon. I bundled him up and we ran around in the park for an hour or so and then toured Toys R Us for a new piece to his "twain twack" I love his little face.

I would post a pic, but I am too tired... nap time for baby (not such a baby anymore) means nap time for Momma too .

Its a latte kind of a day today I think :D

I have a doctors appt in 40 minutes and I am still in my pj's drinking a delicious cup of coffee....

I should be getting ready, but instead I am blogging about getting ready :D
Drake is having a hard morning this morning, but I suppose that is just part of being his age.
We are getting very close to making the pacifiers go away (even at bedtime).
I am not looking forward to the all-out war that will ensue.


Wish me luck kids.


-J