I have a doctors appt in 40 minutes and I am still in my pj's drinking a delicious cup of coffee....
I should be getting ready, but instead I am blogging about getting ready :D
Drake is having a hard morning this morning, but I suppose that is just part of being his age.
We are getting very close to making the pacifiers go away (even at bedtime).
I am not looking forward to the all-out war that will ensue.
Wish me luck kids.
-J
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
The MRI went alright...
My body is wrecked from having to lay in that position for an hour.
I think I would be more hopeful if I didn't have to go back Monday for the other hand.
Today I am dark and twisty... and that is alright. I am not censoring my emotions today. That in itself marks growth for me.
I was at Kat's until super late last night and it felt so good.
We drank chick beer and laid on the couch and just hung out.
Moments where I am just myself, not somebody's wife, or somebody's mom, or somebody's daughter... just me. We laughed about stupid crap and ate chocolate cake out of a box.
I need more evenings like that. They remind me that I am not the sum of my circumstances.
I really love that she knows not to ask "How are you?" but asks me how the day is going. She knows... and she gets me.. and I get her... God loves me after all, to have provided such a friend.
on another note - - the tech who started my IV today noted that I have super thick skin... seems ironic... doesn't it?
My body is wrecked from having to lay in that position for an hour.
I think I would be more hopeful if I didn't have to go back Monday for the other hand.
Today I am dark and twisty... and that is alright. I am not censoring my emotions today. That in itself marks growth for me.
I was at Kat's until super late last night and it felt so good.
We drank chick beer and laid on the couch and just hung out.
Moments where I am just myself, not somebody's wife, or somebody's mom, or somebody's daughter... just me. We laughed about stupid crap and ate chocolate cake out of a box.
I need more evenings like that. They remind me that I am not the sum of my circumstances.
I really love that she knows not to ask "How are you?" but asks me how the day is going. She knows... and she gets me.. and I get her... God loves me after all, to have provided such a friend.
on another note - - the tech who started my IV today noted that I have super thick skin... seems ironic... doesn't it?
Labels:
friendship,
pain,
personal change,
time for myself
I am off to the big scary MRI machine today for my hands.
They are not sure if my kidneys can handle the dyes but I suppose we are going to roll the dice on that one.
Mostly this morning I feel pissed. I talked with Kathleen yesterday about anger and she had a really profound take on the subject. God can handle my anger. He loves me when I am adoring and when I am royally pissed off.... and to be honest about my feelings.
Dear God,
I am not discounting your creation
and your love that even sent your son to die for me,
I am however very angry at you because my body died and forgot to tell me.
your whiny kid,
-Juicey
They are not sure if my kidneys can handle the dyes but I suppose we are going to roll the dice on that one.
Mostly this morning I feel pissed. I talked with Kathleen yesterday about anger and she had a really profound take on the subject. God can handle my anger. He loves me when I am adoring and when I am royally pissed off.... and to be honest about my feelings.
Dear God,
I am not discounting your creation
and your love that even sent your son to die for me,
I am however very angry at you because my body died and forgot to tell me.
your whiny kid,
-Juicey
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Drake came in from the beach on Sunday... sad.
I asked Richard what the switch was and Drake interupted him and said, "I am sad that I don't have wings... I want to fly like the birds on the beach."
I replied, "God gave wings to birds to do incredible things, and he gives us hands to do incredible things. We just have to listen to him to find out what those incredible things are."
I love my kid.
I asked Richard what the switch was and Drake interupted him and said, "I am sad that I don't have wings... I want to fly like the birds on the beach."
I replied, "God gave wings to birds to do incredible things, and he gives us hands to do incredible things. We just have to listen to him to find out what those incredible things are."
I love my kid.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
white trash wonderland and leftovers
I spent some much needed time with my friend Kathleen tonight.
She is getting ready for a weekend trip down to San Jose for her brother's graduation.
It is more fun to shop the Dollar Store and G.O. with friends.
I got into a fun conversation with a long-haired guy covered in skull tattoos about long haired doxies vs short haired ones. He had a dog that looked a lot like Eli and was parked next to me.
Kathleen is not a dog fan and was patient enough with me while I "talked shop" with the mangy looking fellow. I still like our Dollar Store and G.O. better.
The evening was good for my heart.
The highlight being my explanation to Kat that I have been using the word "douche bag" a lot lately and that it was cleansing to the soul...
She is getting ready for a weekend trip down to San Jose for her brother's graduation.
It is more fun to shop the Dollar Store and G.O. with friends.
I got into a fun conversation with a long-haired guy covered in skull tattoos about long haired doxies vs short haired ones. He had a dog that looked a lot like Eli and was parked next to me.
Kathleen is not a dog fan and was patient enough with me while I "talked shop" with the mangy looking fellow. I still like our Dollar Store and G.O. better.
The evening was good for my heart.
The highlight being my explanation to Kat that I have been using the word "douche bag" a lot lately and that it was cleansing to the soul...
Thursday
I have nothing nice to say about my morning, so I am not going to say anything at all about it.
This afternoon however,
the sun is shining, and my son is napping.
God Loves Me.
This afternoon however,
the sun is shining, and my son is napping.
God Loves Me.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
today was strange.
Richard is effectively laid off. He has worked 1 day this week and there is no work in sight.
That in itself is not what is stressful... having no time to myself is what makes me want to freak out,
Also, making all the financials work is stressful too.... oh well... just need to breathe and keep my blood pressure down... it will be alright (this is me pep talkin' myself).
Richard is effectively laid off. He has worked 1 day this week and there is no work in sight.
That in itself is not what is stressful... having no time to myself is what makes me want to freak out,
Also, making all the financials work is stressful too.... oh well... just need to breathe and keep my blood pressure down... it will be alright (this is me pep talkin' myself).
Dad
Dad is so funny,
he called this morning to tell me that if I ever feel bad about my own circumstances, I should watch an episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Apparently, this will reaffirm to me that my life isn't so terrible.
I love my Dad. He makes me laugh. What a goofball.
he called this morning to tell me that if I ever feel bad about my own circumstances, I should watch an episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter. Apparently, this will reaffirm to me that my life isn't so terrible.
I love my Dad. He makes me laugh. What a goofball.
Monday, May 3, 2010

I went to see a private performance of This Providence last Saturday and I must say that I am a fan.... definitely not in my usual rotation... but there is a rawness there I respect.
and, how ridiculously good looking is the drummer (lower left)? He is even more beautiful in person... I always did have a thing for dudes in eyeliner.


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