I went back to delete yesterday's post... too honest... too raw...
and I saw the comments and decided to leave it. I am not apologizing for how I feel.
Those are the things I own... these thoughts in my head. They are mine, and I am not afraid of them today.

"Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul" - Psalm 86:4

"but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.
Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer or held his love from me." - Psalm 66:19-20

"Praise be to the Lord, Our God and Savior,
Who daily bears our burdens." - Psalm 68:19

and my very favorite for today:

"For you have been my hope." - Psalm 71:5

I was praying today while making coffee... asking for a dose of what I often pray over others,
"Lord, please, give me a dose of the peace that surpasses understanding. Holy Spirit, please pray on my behalf because I don't even know what I need right now."

and you know what, I feel better... boggles my mind. Life is still broken, but I am breathing and my son is healthy and beautiful (and currently dancing to the Mickey Mouse Club House theme song) There is hot coffee with creamer in my cup and a dog snoring into my leg. God gave me what I needed in the moment I needed it. I am not alone...

"My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26